hurting.heart

"Lord God, help me... overcome this struggle.
Whatever it is..."

Painful. I don't want this heart.

new.road.to.take

Just last week, we found out that our account (IP RELAY) will be closing this August. We were actually hoping that it will be extended or renewed because there were new trainees for the account. I had a lot of plans. My son will go to school next year and I plan to study CISCO this coming October.

It is stressful because it's hard to find another job like IP RELAY. The job is very easy and the pay is really good. Most of us have families... plans... dreams.

I remember, it was just last saturday when I was very confused. I am not worried, I am confused. I didn't know what road to take. There are of jobs waiting out there for me. It's also not easy to leave your friends. It's never easy to adjust and adapt in a new environment. We're all back to zero.

So, I prayed hard. I tried to think of ways the best that I can. I can't waste my time worrying about it. I have to accept it and do what I have to do. I prayed hard. I surrendered everything to God. I just put in mind that whatever is happening right now has a reason. I am in good hands. If I can't trust myself or the situation, I can always TRUST God, that way I know I will never be disappointed.


As a Christian, accepting challenges should be the foundation of my life experiences and something I should do with confidence. Sometimes, it's just hard to be confident. I don't know if I can surpass this but, I know, I am in good hands...

I trust my Father...

...and I am hoping that I still have Julie.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,

and I, will give you rest..."

c.as.in.christ

Let’s talk about Consistency...


"Consistency is the foundation of virtue." - Francis Bacon

"Look to make your course regular, that men may know beforehand what they may expect." - Francis Bacon

"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson

"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties." - Charlotte Bronte

"No well-informed person ever imputed inconsistency to another for changing his mind." - Marcus T. Cicero

"My goal in sailing isn't to be brilliant or flashy in individual races, just to be consistent over the long run." - Dennis Conner


Are you consistent?

ONLY God is consistent in my life. No one ever loved me as unconditional as HIM. He's my only BESTFRIEND. There's no one in this Earth who truly appreciates me except Him. It's hard to love someone WHO IS NOT CONSISTENT. I'd rather stick to God. He will never disappoint you.

reflection.of.a.lost.child

I am a complete failure.

I am sorry if I always disappoint you. You once told me, I am a work in progress. Why do I feel like nothing is making sense? I am distressed about what’s happening to my faith right now. I am disoriented. I feel defenseless.


Just like a child who wants to run away from home.
I want to run away… again.

I am a failure.

In spite of your warnings, I never thought that it will be this hard.

Help me. This is the only time that I’ll say, I NEED YOU. I value your patience. I am in my weakest point again. I don’t know what to do. I am tired of begging for pardon. I am ashamed of myself. I feel like I am not worthy to receive Him anymore. How long will I be like this?

I am a complete failure.


I am so sorry.



“Father, I need you. Give me the PATIENCE and WISDOM to overcome this struggle. I am sorry if I always upset you. I am sorry if I always give you headaches. You know me. You know what’s in my heart. You know what I want. You are just. Why do I have to encounter this? You permit such, right?

If I question your love, it is simply because I am starting to lose hope. Sometimes, I just don’t understand your ways. I am sorry if until now I am still a failure. You know I do not want life without you. Why such tests?

I surrender. You are far way BIGGER than my struggles. I surrender. I am too weak to defeat this. ..”

mubing.on

WARNING: Dumarating sa buhay ng isang tao ang "kakornihan". Ako po ay korni pa-minsan minsan. Baliw sa pag-ibig. Ako po ay nakapag-desisyon na aking kakalimutan na ang taong ito...

Sino siya? SECRET. Ang Diyos lang po ang nakaka- ALAM. Sinubukan ko man ilihim kaso, ALAM NIYA. Obyus daw. Humingi ako ng tulong. Hindi ko gusto ang aking nararamdaman. Una, hindi karapat dapat na mahulog ako sa taong ito. Pangalawa, maling umibig ako sa taong ito. At, pangatlo, alam ko masasaktan lang ako. Isang araw, ako ay nabatukan. Ako ay naliwanagan. Ako ay napakinggan. Pero bago mag-wakas ang aking kabaliwan, eto nag handog kong himig sa taong iyun... itago nalang natin siya sa pangalang... "SISIW".

Opo. Kung minsan, baduy din po ako. Sensya na.

(Kung di kaya ng powers mo, kumanta ka nalang, isipin mo nalang... nag lyrics search ka)


Baby you'll soon forget about all/ or maybe you'll miss it like I do/ One thing’s for sure I’m on a doubt, spend too much time thinkin’ of you/ And I can't get you out of my dreams/ Now I know that you're the dangerous kind/ And your smile is tattooed on my mind/ And I can't get you out of my dreams/ Don't wanna write, I don't wanna call, I would not know what to say/ It should be you/ That’s how I want it to be/ Tell me you feel the same way/ And I can't get you out of my dreams/ Now know that you're a danger first kind/ And your smile is tattooed on my mind/ And I can't get you out of my dreams...oh!/ Oh, Yesterday, I was feelin' safe, oh All I do today is tryin’ to be BRAVE/ and no melody can seem to suit my mind...and now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind/ And I can't get you out of my dreams/ Now I know that you're a dangerous kind/ And your face is tattooed on my mind/ And I can't get you out of my dreams../Yes I know you're tattooed/ On my mind you're tattooed
(Tattoed On My Mind, D'Sound)


Kinaya mo ba? Haha. Kyut lang ang nakakagawa nito. Gumaya ka na.

Sumapi. Maniwala. i-teks HESUS to 2366.